Self-confidence plays a large role in how you conduct your day-to-day activities and interact with others. Low self-esteem can lead to behavior problems as well as have an effect on relationships with family, friends and significant others. Developing self-confidence begins with positive self-talk and thinking and grows over time as you gradually replace bad habits with good ones.
Examine Both Sides
Often somebody with low self-esteem immediately assumes the worst of any situation and takes blame for whatever has gone wrong. If you didn't get a job, you tell yourself it's because you're stupid, for instance. If you didn't get a date, you think it's because you're unattractive.
Start becoming aware of this type of defeatist thinking and consider the other side. Maybe you didn't get the job because they closed the position. Maybe you didn't get the date because that person isn't emotionally available. The bottom line: Don't always turn defeats into a reason to beat up on yourself.
Make Lists
Often people with low self-esteem forget their good qualities, or they build a sense of self-worth around only one aspect of their personality. If this one piece of esteem doesn't hold up, the person is at a loss when it comes to naming things he or she does right. Consider the divorcee who built his life around his wife or the mother who had no interests besides her children who have now left the nest. If you spend too much time playing into the role of caregiver and making that your source of accomplishment, most often you will fail yourself.
Start now by making a list of your qualities. If you already know you're a good parent, push past that easy out and think about other good qualities you have. Do you have a killer smile? A great sense of humor? Only by acknowledging these positive things about yourself can you grow into a being truly capable of caring for others. If your list comes up short, consider taking actions that will improve your self-esteem. This could include joining a book club, starting a band or participating in a sporting event.
Establish Anchors
Sometimes all the pep talks with yourself or positive thinking in the world can't help. This is when you need to appeal to your emotions and memories. For example, if you are far away from home and not feeling great about the business trip, keep a picture of your beautiful family on the bedside table. If you're trying to lose weight and having moments of weakness, keep a tangible object near you that reminds you of a time you were stronger. This could be a hospital bracelet from a bad medical experience you survived or a seashell from a vacation during which you ran up and down the beach without getting winded.
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