Grieving can affect more than those directly bereaved.
Grieving is a very individual experience: Even when spouses are grieving together, they can be grieving in very different ways. But when only one person in a relationship has suffered a bereavement, the other spouse may still be affected by the grieving process, especially if the bereavement puts a strain on the relationship.
Withdrawal
Some bereaved people withdraw and prefer to be alone.
When a spouse has suffered a bereavement, especially one she cannot share with her partner, it is not unusual for her to withdraw from company and shut out others as she attempts to cope with her loss. This may leave the other spouse feeling secluded and left out, especially as many will want to help and comfort their partner. The University of Pittsburgh Department of Psychiatry notes that while grieving, most people will withdraw from the world around them, but that withdrawal will eventually subside.
Anger
Anger is considered a normal response to a death.
Anger is a symptom listed in the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. A bereaved person might lash out in anger toward his partner, and although the anger is not directed at or about the spouse, it can still be very upsetting and confusing. He may also be angry at God, at the deceased and at the world around him, and it may take some time for this to subside: There is no set time scale for grieving.
Guilt
A spouse may feel guilty about missed opportunities with the deceased.
The University of Illinois Counseling Center notes guilt as part of the normal process of grieving. The bereaved spouse may berate himself over the things he did or said to the deceased, and for lost opportunities and times when he didn't visit or call. It is also possible he will blame his spouse for times when she was less than helpful, or refused to visit. This misdirected guilt can cause relationship problems, but like the anger it should eventually subside and needs to be dealt with patiently.
Work and Productivity
A bereaved spouse might lose interest in work.
A lack of interest in everyday life, including work, is normal following the death of someone close. This could mean the bereaved spouse is not very productive at work; she might even struggle to get out of bed in the morning. This can have a direct effect on finances in the relationship, especially if the couple relies on her wage as the main source of income; if possible, the other spouse could take on some of her responsibilities or earn extra money to allow the grieving partner time to grieve.
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