Grief comes into every single person's life at one time or another. Whether a loved one loses their life, we lose a job, or we suffer from a major life-threatening illness, we have to grieve. There are five steps that are normal for a person to go through when grieving.
Denial
The first part that the grieving person may encounter is denying that whatever has happened is real. He just can't believe it and may even adamantly refuse to believe that the situation is real. He may feel very numb to the whole situation. This stage leads directly into the next stage.
Anger
When the person finally realizes that the situation is real and that he can't change things, he is going to get angry that this has happened. Anger can begin the steps that are "the hardest and longest part of the grief process" (Mental Health Nursing, pg. 193). He may not understand why this happened and will question every aspect, including whether or not he is at fault for anything. This is such an emotional stage in that he may feel like he's the only one this has ever happened to, or he may feel incredibly sad. For someone to say that they "understand" would truly be useless to the grieving person. He may not want anyone bothering him, but he needs to know, at this point, that someone cares. He may shut others out, but he needs to at least know that they are there, even though he may not feel it initially.
Bargaining
In this stage, the person will try to come up with a bargain that maybe even God will accept. For instance, if a loved one is dying of cancer, he may ask for his own life to be taken instead of the loved one. Or he may vow to commit himself to change if things will just go back to the way they were, if he only has one more chance.
Depression
In this stage, the person may also feel alone and incredibly sad. This is another point where he needs to know that someone cares and is there for him. Due to the depression, he may be unmotivated to care for himself, let alone anyone he is in charge of. His job may suffer, and those around him will notice a profound heaviness about his personality.
Acceptance
Finally, after working through the above steps, and after much time has passed, the person will eventually come to accept the situation. He may bring something positive out of something terrible. He should be able to come to terms with it here, remembering the good times and moving on with even more good times, preserving his memories of what was lost. Life may finally get back to some semblance of normalcy for him.
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